See Yourself Become A Hero
by Palgrave Goldenrod
Summary: Sometimes, honesty really is the best policy. Part of the Stop Me If You've Heard This One Before series.


**Stop Me If You've Heard This One Before: See Yourself Become A Hero**

**Author**: Palgrave

**Fandom(s):** _The Dark Knight / Doctor Who_

**Rating:** PG-13

**Disclaimer:** The Joker and all _Batman_ related characters, concepts, situations etc property of Time-Warner and DC Comics. _Doctor Who_ and all related characters, concepts, situations etc property of the BBC.

**Author's Notes:** Part of the _Stop Me If You've Heard This One Before_ series, which is basically a glorified way of me trying to cram Ledger!Joker into as many short-fic crossovers as I can possibly think of. All feedback welcome, as long as it's constructive.

**Summary:** Sometimes, honesty really is the best policy.

* * *

_It's the same question, every time. Only the answers change._

_They always want to know. Deep down. Even as the ants cringe away from him in terror, their eyes are drawn to his scars, to the Glasgow smile torn raggedly into his cheeks, a permanent angry red smile at the madness of the world and the joke that only he is willing to get._

_They always want to know. And so he offers to satisfy their curiosity._

_Every time, the same question._

"_Do you want to know," The Joker asks, licking his lips, "how I got these scars?"_

_Except even the Joker isn't prepared for some of the answers he gets._

* * *

"Don't really care," Amy Pond retorts calmly.

"Amy, Rory says, arms held behind his back by a particularly large thug, cautious but not cowardly. He's not as brave as his wife, which somehow makes him braver. Behind them, a room full of well-dressed people cower back from the Joker's goons and gape at the little Scottish redhead in the denim jeans standing up to the monster.

"No, Rory," Amy replies, still calm, still meeting the Joker's eyes fearlessly. "No sense in being dishonest."

The Joker giggles. It's quite a horrible sound, really. He leans in closer, gently waving the knife between her eyes. Rory stiffens in the arms of the henchman.

"I like you," he says. "You've got guts. Would you like to see them? I could show them to you. You'd be amazed how long you can last with your insides on the outside." The Joker ignores the angry yell Rory releases; frankly, he's not as much fun compared to his wife.

"You don't scare me," Amy responds quietly.

The Joker's heard that lie before. Except when he looks into this little girl's eyes, he believes it. He's not quite sure what to make of that.

"I might not," the Joker agrees. He gently touches the knife to Amy's cheek, not enough to cut (he wonders if her blood is as red as her hair), just enough so that she can feel it. She shivers, an involuntarily instinct, but still meets his eyes. Still doesn't fear him. "But I bet I can find out what can."

There's a gasp from the peons around the room, and Rory Williams struggles furiously against the henchman holding him. The Joker doesn't care. He's not interested in them. He's interested in this little girl who's not afraid of him.

"No," Amy replies, still quiet, still intense. "You can't. I bet you can scare these people, with your scars and your knives and your evil little games, but you can't scare me. Even with that knife, you'll never know what scares me. Because I've seen worse things than you, matey. I've seen the worst things in the universe. But I've got the best mate in the universe as well. And he's much scarier than you. He's scarier and better than all the horrible things in the universe put together. Compared to him, you? You're just a smelly little man in a horrible purple suit with a bad makeup job."

The Joker giggles again.

"I'd like to meet him. Maybe I'll introduce your insides to him."

"You won't get the chance. Isn't that right, _Doctor_?"

Before the Joker can even register that the girl's suddenly shouting, something soft and round thrown at great force hits him in the side of the head. There's no pain, but the Joker stumbles, allowing Amy to knee him the groin (with perhaps more force than necessary). As he rolls on the floor, giggling through the pain, he's vaguely aware of that insignificant husband of hers breaking free of his henchman's grasp with more skill than he should have (magnificent, really, almost like a centurion), of general chaos as the miserable little peons in the room are inspired to stand up against his guards (it doesn't mean anything, they're still worthless and insignificant, they'll still cower like sheep and follow anyone mindlessly, he'll kill them all later).

There's suddenly someone's foot on his throat. He looks up into the eyes of Rory Williams and giggles and sticks his tongue out. Rory very much looks like he wants to bring his foot down hard, crush the Joker's throat, but resists. Pathetic.

There's something blurry and orange just outside his vision.

"Ow!" A man in a tweed jacket and bow-tie whines as Amy stomps over to him and stabs her finger into his chest with a lot of angry force. "Stop that!"

"A _satsuma_? Did you just save my life with a _satsuma_?"

"Never underestimate satsumas, Pond. I once defeated an entire invasion of Earth with a satsuma. Satsumas are _brilliant_." The Doctor looks down at the Joker curiously. "You know, I think I met another version of you once, in another universe. He was... pointier. And less scarry."

The Joker just laughs, at a joke only he knows, involving satsumas and fire and a girl with fearless eyes.


End file.
